Mover’s Speech from the Very Rev’d Dr Peter Catt:
In 2022 this Synod passed a resolution asking that DC facilitate a process for developing an apology to the LGBTIAQ+ community. As it did so, it acknowledged that an apology had already been given by the General Synod. A number of other Diocese and Churches were also working on apologies at the time. Others have made apologies since.
Importantly for our deliberations today, Synod requested that our apology be developed in consultation with the LGBTIAQ+ community. This is how meaningful and effective apologies are developed and made.
On behalf of the committee that was formed by DC to do that work, The Rev’d Deb Bird and I as members of that committee bring this motion containing the suggested words for the apology that Synod requested for Synod’s consideration.
Bringing these words for Synod to endorse is also an important part of the process of delivering a meaningful and effective apology as it is important that the apology be owned by the Synod as the governing body of the Diocese rather than being offered by the committee, or DC or The Archbishop alone. A Diocesan apology owned by the governing body of the Diocese
The process we are involved in today is the consideration of the words of the apology that Synod asked to have developed.
The Committee was established in the second half of 2022 and we have spent the last year and a half consulting with LGBTIAQ+ Peak Bodies such as Open Doors and PFLAG, The Parents and Friends of Lesbian and Gays, and, through an open invitation, with individuals, including family members and partners, who wished to share their experience with us, so that we might develop an effective apology that spoke to them and to what they wanted us to hear and understand. The Rev’d Deb Bird will give greater details of this process in her seconding speech. But on your behalf may I thank the leadership of the peak bodies, and the individuals who shared their stories with us, not only for their time, but also for their bravery, their generosity of spirit and for the thoughtfulness of their contributions. It was a humbling experience for me. And helped us to develop what I think will be a meaningful, genuine and effective apology.
Over the next few minutes, I would like to frame what we are doing today by considering what an apology is and how a meaningful, genuine and effective apology is developed and delivered.
As I do so, I need to acknowledge the legacy of our former Archbishop, Dr Phillip Aspinall from whom I learned so much as I watch him develop a meaningful, genuine and effective apology with and for the women and children who were affected by the Forced Adoption Practices of our church. Archbishop Philip listened carefully, developed a clear intention to to apologise despite all the societal and cultural complexities that had been in operation during the time of those practices, worked with representatives of the peak bodies representing those affected and with affected individuals to develop the words they wanted to hear, and then delivered the apology in a context that worked for them; marking the event with memorials at the Cathedral and at the former St Mary’s Home in Toowong. In terms of our apology those later stages will need to be worked through after the stage we seek address today in completed.
A meaningful, genuine, and effective apology is developed by first attending to the hopes of those to whom the apology will be directed. What do they seek?
The main aims of wounded parties in an apology process is to feel respected, understood, and cared for; for their experience to be taken seriously and for to be given a sense that the past practices will not be repeated into the future.
The members of the committee hope that we have demonstrated much of what is sought on behalf of the church by:
- taking the time to listen and attend to people and their stories;
- developing words in response to what we heard that we believed reflected what those we had listened to wanted to hear;
- checking those words out with the people who had engaged with us;
- And fourthly recrafting the words in response to their feedback.
We are confident that, to the best of our ability, we have developed words that achieve the purpose of enabling those we have hurt the past to feel respected, understood, and cared for.
The words you have before you are words that work for those who need to hear them. Words that say to them, we see you; we hear you.
The second consideration in developing a meaningful, genuine and effective apology is for those who are doing the apologising to understand why they need apologise. Whatever the intentions, whatever the social context, whatever our understanding of human sexuality was at the time, individuals and their families were injured. Whether it was intentional or unintentional doesn’t matter. In offering the apology we recognise the hurt and take responsibility for our part in that.
Thirdly, a meaningful, genuine and effective apology starts with saying sorry. Period. It is very tempting to want to explain why, or to indicate that one didn’t mean it to cause harm, or to refer to social mores at the time and so on. This undermines the effectiveness of the apology. Anything that sounds like self-justification doesn’t help those to whom the apology is directed. This is one of the costs of being prepared to make an apology. And reminds us to remember that the apology is for those who have been hurt, not those who are doing the apologising. The words of the apology therefore need to be clear and unequivocal; free of any desire to save face, to qualify or justify .
Fourthly, and relatedly, in a meaningful, genuine and effective apology the one apologising needs to take responsibility for their actions.
Fifthly, the apology needs to focus on the impact of the actions. Again it is not about the intent of what was done but the impact of it. The person you wronged deserves the chance to share their experience and feelings, so recognizing the impact of your mistake often involves some empathic listening. This may feel uncomfortable, but it’s an important step toward showing remorse. This is why listeing was such an extensive and time consuming part of our process.
Sixthly, there needs to be some expression about how things will be different in the future. You will see that in the proposed apology we have described what this might look like in words that spoke to the those to whom we are addressing the apology. We acknowledge what we have done and are seeking to demonstrate that we have learned from them.
Seventhly, the apology needs to be real and to deal with reality. In terms of our apology we are not, for example, apologising for not being able to marry people as that is currently impossible. So, in the proposed words we acknowledge what we have heard, that this makes some people feel like second class citizens – their words – but do not apologise for it or promise to attend to this in the future. We are not making a promise that we will not be able to keep.
While noting that the apology is focused on those to whom we owe this apology, we hope for our sake that it will enable them to forgive us. That of course is within their gift to withhold or give.
Having followed all these steps we believe that we have honoured the intention of Synod and honoured those with whom we have interacted by developing an apology that will be meaningful, genuine and effective.
I hope you will forgive the length of this explanation. I hope it has been helpful for members of Synod to understand the process we went through to bring forward the words that are in the motion, and the significance that these words hold.
I am aware there will be amendments that will propose to change our wording. I can only encourage you to weigh each proposed amendment against the detail of this process I have just described. I encourage you to ask whether a proposed change will serve the apology process.
Will it make the apology more effective for those to whom the apogee is directed?
Will it make it more meaningful for them? For them?
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Seconder’s Speech from the Rev’d Deb Bird:
Following the 2022 motion an apology committee began considering how to best undertake the work we had been asked to do.
Our priority was to first do no further harm, and so began consultations by seeking the advice of peak bodies such as Open Doors and PFLAG. These conversations helped us check our use of language and understanding of terminology. We became particularly conscious that language changes over time, and in forming the apology we have aimed to reflect back the language that those who have speaking to us used to describe themselves and their experience.
We sought assistance in understanding the impacts of religious trauma and the need for trauma-informed listening. We also sought advice on providing safe spaces in which respondents could tell their story. When the invitation was extended last December, responses came from sexuality-diverse and gender-diverse individuals, as well as family members and friends. During the listening process some common themes emerged as well as details particular to each person’s experience.
The opening words of apology begin our response by adding nuance to what we have said in the past – though we have previously affirmed and continue to affirm the image of God in every person, one’s gender identity or sexual orientation has nonetheless been the basis of discrimination, mistreatment or exclusion in the experiences of those who spoke to us. So we begin by recognising and rejoicing in the image of God and is expressed in people of every race, social circumstance, gender identity and sexual orientation.
As authority for the Anglican Marriage Rite lies with the national church and not this diocesan body, both committee and respondents have recognized this is not something we as a diocese are empowered to change. This is a source of deep pain for those who worship and pray alongside us, who serve as liturgical assistants, musicians, synod representatives and who minister with us. In recognizing this anguish we have remained faithful to the words of those who have describe feeling as like “second class citizens” because they cannot marry in the Church they faithfully serve and in the communities they cherish.
Some of the most difficult stories we heard came from family and friends who have seen their loved ones harmed or who have had their own joys and griefs minimized or denied because their loved one has been unable to be openly spoken of in community. In particular we heard the acute and continuing pain associated with the exclusion of children from baptism, or denial of end-of-life care – and so we acknowledged the deep anguish, grief and anger of friends and family of gender diverse and sexuality diverse people, and extend our apology for the trauma they have also endured.
While an apology is the movement of one body in response to the harm done in another, in the final section we have worked to incorporate feedback that desired to move past ‘us and them’ statements toward the hope and practice of living together as a united body, relating to one another as equal members of the Body of Christ.
One of the stories shared with me was from a person who wished to convey the importance of this kind of expressed intentionality.
After a lifetime of discrimination by faith institutions this person has found home in an Anglican community that has finally offered the space, support, and affirmation they needed for their faith to flourish and to enjoy a genuine sense of belonging. When I asked what made the difference, I was directed to the vision statement of the community that described the gospel as the practice of the unconditional love of God to all people at all times. A vision that articulates what it looks like to behave as relational people of God, and what it should feel like to participate in a community of faith.
Finally, on behalf of apology committee I want to express deep gratitude to every person who has reached out to us. We acknowledge the extreme difficulty and complexity involved in the sharing of your pain. We hold your stories with grief and your lives with utmost respect.
We sincerely hope these words of apology are faithful to the trust you have placed in us.
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From the Diocese of Brisbane. The Very Rev’d Dr Peter Catt to move; The Rev’d Deborah Bird, seconding:
That this Synod, noting Motion 18 Synod 2022 and in response to the same, offers the following apology to LGBTQIA+ people on behalf the Anglican Church Southern Queensland.
The Anglican Church Southern Queensland:
- Recognises and rejoices in the image of God as reflected in every human being, as expressed in people of every race, social circumstance, gender identity and sexual orientation.
- Acknowledges the pain felt by any sexuality-diverse and gender-diverse people who feel like second class citizens because they cannot marry in the Anglican Church of Australia.
Apologises to sexuality-diverse and gender-diverse people for the times when:
- We have not accepted that you are who you are;
- We have denigrated you;
- We have unjustly excluded you from baptism, holy communion, holy unction and the community of the Anglican church;
- We have supported the criminalisation of your sexuality;
- We have advocated for and/or condoned the harmful practices forming what is known as ‘Conversion Therapy’;
- We have isolated you and subjected you to mistreatment;
- We have not spoken up to protect you from violence and exclusion.
Apologises to the family members and friends of sexuality-diverse and gender-diverse people for the times when:
- Our treatment of your loved ones has hurt you;
- We have failed to grieve or celebrate with you over the challenges and achievements of the ones you love;
- We have silenced or mistreated you.
Undertakes to:
- Pray together in humility;
- Affirm our common humanity as we walk together in following Jesus Christ in our Church;
- Recognise the diversity among us and the ministry of each person who volunteers and works in and for The Anglican Church Southern Queensland;
- Listen to you;
- Stand with you against injustice and marginalisation;
- Live into the expectations outlined in Faithfulness in Service and the Being Together document, endorsed by this Diocese, about how we relate to one another as equal members of the Body of Christ.
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